Archive for November, 2006
The UK Sunday Times ran an endlessly amusing article yesterday, “Trophy Husbands,” about women breadwinners and their underemployed and/or “house manager” husbands. According to one UK survey, 39 percent of women in that country who work full time believe that they earn more than their partners — “believe” being the operative word here, because as one headhunter quoted in the article says, “You could probably get more people to talk to you on the record about how often they have sex.”
The article goes on to say that 1.8 million women who work full time in the UK earn more than their male partners. What’s more, the Office for National Statistics reports that 14 percent of UK men now work at home (i.e., change diapers all day), compared with just 8 percent of women. And evidently the times, they are a-changin’ so much that we now get to witness a surge in male gold diggers, underappreciated househusbands, and women leaving their husbands for their male nannies.
Of course, the crux of the article lies with this statement:
It’s clear that both men and women are struggling to deal with these altered dynamics.
Meaning, men are the new women. Or maybe women are the new men. Or now anyone can be overworked and underappreciated. Or act like a total sexist ass.
Growing pains aside, cultural shifts like this thrill me to no end, especially when they bring women closer to wielding the same power in the business world as their male counterparts and earning the same salaries, if not more. And especially when they help some underappreciative men see what goes into running a household and an army of rugrats from dawn till dusk.
And I’m sorry, guys, I don’t mean to smirk a little at some of the “My! How the tables have turned!” tales in the article, but I can’t help it. It’s kind of like the first time a boyfriend who was more domestic than me whined, “I cook for you, I clean for you, and what do I get in return? Zero appreciation!” I have to confess, I was so giddy over this role reversal (probably because I watched my dad come home from the office and ask my working mom “What’s for dinner?” all those years) that I threw a dishrag at my poor underappreciated hausfrau boyfriend, asked him to drape it from his waist like an apron, and begged him to repeat the statement.
Needless to say, I didn’t get any nookie that night.
November 20th, 2006
Here’s some news you can use: MSNBC contributing writer Vanessa Richardson published a helpful article last week on how women need to do a better job of planning for their retirement, starting in their twenties and thirties. Considering the high divorce rate, our longer life expectancy, and the fact that many of us don’t marry at all, sometimes even — gasp! – by choice, stories like this are much needed.
Some statistics from the article:
According to Allstate’s sixth annual “Retirement Reality Check” survey, which measures Americans’ attitudes toward and savings for retirement, almost half of women — 48 percent — have considered the financial implications of retiring alone, compared with 36 percent of men. Yet when asked who takes the lead in planning for retirement, 45 percent of women and 65 percent of men said the husband or male partner.
The majority of respondents said they are not set for retirement, although men feel a little more optimistic than women. Only 19 percent of women, compared to 23 percent of men, said they felt “very prepared.”
Blech. But not surprising.
On a positive note, the article quotes money maven Barbara Stanny up and down, who always has encouraging advice for women on managing their finances. I was happy to see the article also addressed whether to keep your own kitty on the side, even if you’ve shacked up, and how to present that bit of information to your significant other. Too bad it didn’t go into the ramifications of saving for retirement as a self-employed person, which can be even more daunting.
November 17th, 2006
Speaking of getting it all done, I read a couple of interesting posts this evening on working smarter: one on Boss Lady, about tackling your biggest projects first thing each morning (something I’ve been practicing more in theory than reality this month), and one on A List Apart, about kicking the first concept up a notch by challenging yourself to work just four days a week. Really.
I know getting more done by truncating your work week may sound counter-intuitive, but check out this excerpt from the article:
And then it hit me: there will always be more to do. Working more won’t change that. In fact, working more is actually counter-productive. I was starting work everyday at 5:30 AM and working till 10:00 PM, but I still wasn’t done with everything. If I was working those extreme hours and still couldn’t keep up with my to-dos, then clearly working more wasn’t the solution.
The problem wasn’t a time issue, it was a mental issue. I knew I had a whole week to finish my work, so I spread it out over five (or seven!) days. If I knew I only had four days to finish a whole week of work, it would’ve motivated me to get things done more efficiently.
So here’s the challenge: work fewer hours.
Boy am I ever guilty this month of “since I have all week to do it, I’ll put off starting till tomorrow” syndrome. Which means I spend more time dithering on email or bloggerbating, my scary new timesucking habit — you know, posting, commenting, incessantly checking Technorati… All this translates into working on my key projects in reactive mode (as opposed to proactive), everything a fire drill because nothing’s getting done in advance. Instead, I’m right up against the deadlines, which is a stressful place to be.
The four-day work week Ryan Carson outlines in this article sounds idyllic to me. In fact, I’m often jealous of my friends who’ve arranged their part-time work schedules just so, meaning they have Fridays off to write and play and sleep and run errands. And no one needs to sell me on quality of life trumping a slightly fatter savings account. I’m first in line for that shit.
Since I’m freelance, I can try out this arrangement, uh, just as soon as I get caught up on my current deadlines. It won’t be easy for this newfound workaholic to labor less (or to learn to hurry the hell up while working, as my boyfriend has kindly reminded me that I have trouble doing). But I intend to give it a shot. And with Thanksgiving next week and a visit to my mom scheduled for Thursday and Friday, I’ll have no choice but to put some of Carson’s tactics to the test.
If you never hear me speak of my attempts at taking Fridays off (or even Friday afternoons off) again, know that it didn’t work out. At all. And if you’ve successfully pared down your work week this way, either as an employee or a freelancer, I’d love to hear from you. How did you do it? Inquiring minds want to know.
November 17th, 2006
My little home-based workspace (i.e., spare bedroom) looks like the Office Depot delivery truck crashed through it. Manila folders, notepads, books, magazines, printouts, and sticky notes cover every possible surface area. To say I let things go while writing this book would be the understatement of the century. Not that I was much of a domestic diva to begin with. But I did like to keep my desk clean. Even if work was nuts, I could stare at the blank patch of pine and know that at least one little thing in the freelance universe was under control.
Today, buried under Mt. Everest on my desk I found a printed page containing these 10 Commandments. I imagine I wrote this list early in 2006 to try to coax myself into a regular book-writing schedule. After much nail-biting and hair-pulling, I did get on a regular writing schedule, but it was nowhere near as smooth as I envisioned when I sat down to draft this list a thousand months ago.
I know as far as fresh blog posts go this is cheating, but I thought you’d want to see anyway. Besides, if you know me even the slightest bit, some of the items will likely make you piss yourself from laughing so hard.
So herewith, I give you The 10 Commandments of Getting Off My Ass:
- Write first thing in the a.m. OK to eat and/or walk dog first. On weekdays, get on computer by 9:30 a.m.; weekends, as long as it’s before noon, you’re golden. Write for 1 hour without getting up, break for 10 minutes. Repeat 1 to 2 more times before moving on to lunch and afternoon tasks.
- Schedule interviews/research for afternoons. Do whenever possible. This mainly applies to weekdays. Crucial to get the writing time in during weekday mornings.
- Don’t watch TV. Just don’t. Really. I mean it. Or you’ll be sorry. Unless it’s after 5 p.m. and you’ve done your writing for the day. Even then, you should be researching or doing chores while the tube’s on. Otherwise, it had better be off or you had better be watching a movie you rented.
- Let household chores and errands wait their turn. Must not be done in lieu of writing time. However, it’s perfectly OK to do them on brief writing breaks (see commandment #1), at lunch, and before or after the workday. Do out-of-the-house errands at the end of the day. You’ll be dying to get out of the house anyway.
- Do client writing work in afternoons, evenings, or weekends. Under no circumstances should you write your newspaper/magazine articles or do your bread-and-butter corporate work during the a.m. book-writing time. Exceptions: You can only get a source on the phone for one of the aforementioned assignments during the a.m., in which case, your book-writing time had better extend into the afternoon to make up for it. (BTW, no penalty for writing book all freaking day if you so desire.)
- Don’t answer the phone. Let the voice mail get it. You’re paying Qwest for it, so you might as well make use of it. Return calls at the end of the day or — here’s a concept — the next day.
- Same with emails and IM. OK to read emails on writing breaks (see commandment #1, lunches, and before and after work). OK to send a quick response during these times if it has to do with immediate plans, important work stuff, interviews, and so on. Otherwise, wait till end of workday or evening to respond. As for IM, just don’t even log on.
- Same with e-newsletters and Google alerts. Just gloss over them till the day is done. Or else.
- Same with Jehovah’s witnesses. Don’t answer the door during the day. Even if the solicitors on your doorstep can see you through the windows. Just motion to them that your dog is vicious and likes to eat strangers who engage in religious dialogue with other strangers. By the same token, don’t make plans with people during the day. Meet them after work. The only one who gets to see you during the day is Buddy, and yes, he is entitled to a midday walk, provided you’ve finished your morning writing. (The a.m. pre-writing walk with Buddy will really help in this department.)
- Don’t eat instead of writing. Eat at breakfast, lunch, and dinner, yes. Snack when hungry, too. But know that this does not include scarfing a box of cookies in front of Judge Judy instead of starting the next chapter or section you’re supposed to be working on.
***Bonus commandment: If you fall off the wagon, don’t belabor it and bang your head against the wall as punishment. Just tell yourself you’ll do better the next day and make sure you bloody well do.
(Can anyone guess which commandments I followed and which I didn’t? To my credit, I did hit far more of these tenets than I missed. And before we close the, uh, book on this subject, would anyone care to share a page from their own creative routine?)
November 16th, 2006
I’ve been getting a load of traffic this week thanks to the lovely links here from Salon.com’s Broadsheet blog and Bust magazine, two of the best publications known to womankind.
If you’re new to my site, allow me to suggest a few links that may assist you in your virtual travels:
I’m relatively new to this blogging game, so I hope you’ll check back often as I continue to flesh out the site. As you may have surmised, my favorite topics include self-employment, inspiring artists and businesswomen, sexism in the workplace, and media representations of working women.
Note: If you’re one of the many people who found me through a Google search on YSL’s tux for women, this is probably the post you’re looking for.
November 14th, 2006
In case you missed 20/20 on ABC last Friday, Elizabeth Vargas — sadly, one of the decade’s shortest-lived evening newscasters — did a story called “Can Working Mothers Have It All”?
While the segment didn’t add anything new to the conversation, acknowledgment from the mainstream media never hurts. And maybe someone watching in, say, Duluth, didn’t know that America is one of four countries of 168 studied that doesn’t have a national paid maternity leave plan. (The other three countries? Lesotho, Swaziland, and Papua New Guinea.)
Plus, seeing clips of syndicated radio asshat Tom Leykis saying he doesn’t want his tax dollars helping working moms was a good reminder of who women are up against. I’m not a parent, nor do I ever intend to be one. But fair flextime policies are not only good for working mothers, they’re good for working dads, people caring for aging or ailing relatives, artists and writers with creative projects outside the workplace, weekend warriors with road trip or mountaineering habits, and so on. (Of course you may be hard-pressed to find a company that will give you several weeks of paid “novel-writing leave.” Damn.)
Other recent media coverage that should make working moms stand up and cheer:
The Christian Science Monitor’s Marilyn Gardner looks at the truth behind women opting out, complete with the subhead “Two reports show a weak labor market and inflexible work policies as the main reasons women are staying home” and nuggets like this:
“Most mothers do not opt out,” says Joan Williams, director of the Center for WorkLife Law at the University of California, Hastings. “They are pushed out by workplace inflexibility, the lack of supports, and a workplace bias against mothers.” In one recent survey, 86 percent of women cited obstacles such as inflexible jobs as a key reason behind their decision to leave. (Published 10/30/06)
ABC News’ Betsy Stark did a depressing segment on tag-team parenting — couples working opposite shifts so they don’t have to pay for pricey childcare (or worry about seeing each other Monday through Friday). I was shocked to learn that about a third of dual-income families employ the eminently more affordable tag-team tactic when it comes to childcare. Of course, the less well-off you are… well, you know the drill. (Aired 10/31/06)
The New York Times ran a piece by M. P. Dunleavey in the Business section on how this country is lagging far, far behind its European counterparts in terms of giving new parents a break. I’m glad the Times is finally starting to move past the whole opt-out thing. (Published 11/4/06)
If any of the above makes your blood boil and/or you want to do something about corporate and government attitudes toward working parents, check out MomsRising.org. You’ll find a book, documentary, and burgeoning political movement to partake in.
November 14th, 2006
Speaking of what powerful women wear their first day on the job, let’s take a brief trip down memory lane, shall we? Here’s a gem from a press conference with Katie Couric this summer.
Couric was questioned again about why she left her longtime “Today” job to take the anchor position (a rare opportunity, and nothing to do with being the first solo female network anchor, she said) and how her daughters, ages 10 and 14, received her decision (supportively).
She finally drew the line at a query about what she intended to wear on her first newscast.
“You’re kidding, right?” she replied.
“Sadly, I’m not,” said the reporter asking the question, an acknowledgment of the microscopic scrutiny given to Couric’s ascension to the ABC-CBS-NBC anchor troika.
“I’ve actually gone to Charlie Gibson’s stylist,” Couric responded wryly, referring to her ABC counterpart.
Anyone else have any gems they’d like to share, either from your own life of the lives of public figures? I’m collecting.
November 14th, 2006
Is this for real? The Washington Post devoting 1,000 words to Nancy Pelosi’s wardrobe? Sure, it’s in the Fashion section, but come on. Is anyone scrutinizing Robert Gates’ couture? Did anyone give a whit about what Dennis Hastert wore when he became Speaker?
See for yourself:
Pelosi’s suit was by Giorgio Armani — the Italian master of neutral tones and modern power dressing — and she wore it well. She looked polished and tasteful in front of the cameras. It is tempting to even go so far as to say that she looked chic, which in the world beyond Washington would be considered a compliment, but in the context of politics is an observation fraught with insinuations of partisanship and condescension.
And:
Armani stands as a kind of professional armor. It is protective but soft. Tailored but with a drape. It is the style of business dress that in the 1980s famously feminized menswear and brought masculine confidence to women’s wear. An Armani suit, for a woman, is a tool for playing with the boys without pretending to be one.
And finally:
Pelosi had to decide how a woman who will be second in line of succession to the presidency should look. And what she came up with is someone who wears a neutral-colored, softly tailored power suit. One that is accessorized with style rather than rote references to love of country. She looks dignified and serious. And in this case, she also happens to look quite good.
Thanks to Naomi, my sister, for taking time out of her busy day off in DC to call me with this, uh, news.
November 10th, 2006
While we’re on the subject of career change and the possible financial or lifestyle trade-offs that can come with it, I thought I’d share this recent article from CareerJournal.com on when relocating for a new gig is and isn’t worth it.
I relocated when I was 30, but it wasn’t such a radical move — San Francisco to Seattle. I knew Seattle well, having a sister, a college buddy, and an ex-beau up here. So I had plenty of time (years, in fact) to check out le new surroundings before packing everything I couldn’t bear to sell into my Civic and making the 850-mile drive north for good.
I must confess, my move wasn’t solely for the job; it was for the simpler, more affordable lifestyle I’d surmised Seattle would allow me. So when the job ended after a year (it was an indefinite contract job, only somewhere along the way, the company instituted a three-month “break in service” policy that meant I had to leave the gig after twelve months), I wasn’t left thinking, Damn! I moved here just for the job and now I’m hosed. Also, I had my former freelance clients to fall back on for work when I was, for all intents and purposes, laid off. So getting the axe was hardly devastating.
What do you think? Have you ever jumped ship and started anew elsewhere for a job you couldn’t refuse at the time? How did it turn out? What would you do differently if you could hit rewind?
November 10th, 2006
Happiness is waking up to Salon.com’s thrilling Broadsheet post, Most. Women. Leaders. Ever!
(Note: If you’re not a Salon.com subscriber, you likely will have to watch an ad to read the article. Or you can just amuse yourself with the excerpts and links below…)
Music to my ears:
The ascendance of Rep. Nancy Pelosi, and the defeat of the South Dakota abortion ban, aren’t the only good news for American women to come out of Tuesday’s elections. As the likely first ever Madam Speaker, Rep. Pelosi will preside over a chamber filled with more female representatives than ever before, according to the Associated Press. The House will add at least three women members, and the Senate will add two, bringing the total number of women in Congress to 86 — 70 in the House, 16 in the Senate. (Women were candidates in two other tight races that were still too close to call on Wednesday.)
This veritable symphony, too:
With the Democrats in control of the House, AlterNet notes that women representatives are also poised to take other important leadership positions there, beyond that of Madam Speaker: “Most significant, New York Rep. Louise Slaughter will likely become chair of the House Rules Committee, which sets the parameters of floor debate. Rep. Juanita Millender-McDonald of California will chair the House Administration Committee, which oversees federal elections and day-to-day operations in the chamber.”
Also note that if Bush and Cheney were both to vacate office (perhaps by fatally choking on a pretzel and being imprisoned for shooting a hunting buddy, respectively), Pelosi would be poised to be the first female president. Now that’s what I’m talking about!
November 9th, 2006
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