Archive for 2006
Oooooh, interesting Modern Love by relationship author Wendy Paris in today’s New York Times. The essay starts like this:
I don’t know how I got to be so old without having children. When I was 28 and my cousin had her first child, at 31, I thought, “I certainly won’t wait that long.” But then my freewheeling, career-centric life lasted another decade.
And while the piece is more a discussion of the trials and tribulations of trying to conceive when pushing 40 (which, in my extended social circle, is nowhere near as old/rare/daunting as Paris makes it sound), it touches on the always relevant dilemma of whether to spend your most fertile years building a career, building a family, traipsing around the world (or at least around the neighborhood), or all of the above.
Don’t get me wrong. I am by no means advocating women ditch their day jobs in favor of dirty diapers. Nor am I a militant disciple of Linda Hirshman, insisting that every last woman work outside the home lest Betty Friedan roll over in her grave. I don’t give a poop where in the mommy/careerwoman spectrum others fall, as long as they don’t try to push their decisions on me. (For the skinny on women who agree, see Judy McGuire’s hilarious piece, “Newborn Free,” in the current issue of Bust.)
I know it’s old news, but I (still) find this conundrum fascinating, especially because everything I’ve read on the mommy/career dilemma points to thirtysomething women weighing the work/family balance issue much more heavily than their male counterparts. Probably because in the majority of North American families, the moms are still the ones punching in for the second shift at home. And because in a majority of families, not working outside the home is not a financial option for mothers (or fathers). And because, well, we’re the ones who have to carry the suckers around in our bellies for nine months and suffer the career hits at work, due to workplace biases.
So, people who read this blog but have yet to comment, what do you think about starting a family earlier vs. putting it off to focus on your career, creative pursuits, travels, et cetera? What do you think about doing both at once and trying to strike a balance between the two? How about skipping the whole conception thing, living your independent life to the fullest in your twenties and thirties, and then adopting in your forties? Opting out of motherhood altogether? If some of you comment, I may be persuaded to reveal where I fall within the mommy/career/juggling act spectrum (she goads).
November 26th, 2006
The impending tryptophan-fest has me reminiscing about turkeys of yesteryear. And I do not mean Thanksgiving dinners passed. I mean the crappier project contracts I was stupid enough to sign during my early days as a freelancer.
At some point it dawned on me that if I couldn’t make heads or tails of the legalese I was agreeing to, I should ask someone who could. (Duh.) Last year I joined the National Writers Union so that I could take advantage of their peer contract advisor service. Basically the NWU trains veteran authors to walk newbie authors (yours truly, for instance) through their contracts. Since I wasn’t working with an agent, I found this service invaluable and used it to negotiate three book contracts — an anthology I contributed to, a single-author book, and a ghostwriting project. Worth the price of admission (sliding scale based on income) right there.
And last week I had an appointment with an advisor at the Washington Lawyers for the Arts, a nearly free legal clinic for artsy-fartsy folks who can’t afford the $500 it would cost to clear their throat in an attorney’s office (ahem). I met with my WLA advisor (a bona fide lawyer!) to review a co-author agreement I’m putting together with another writer. Again, I walked away with far more knowledge about copyright law than I walked in with — and I didn’t even have to empty my wee savings account to do so.
Over the years, I’ve also found these other industry/legal resources helpful:
- Authors Guild: Offers contract assistance similar to that of the NWU, but annual membership fees are lower. Now that my NWU membership has expired, I will likely join the AG.
- Society of Professional Journalists: Often hosts copyright and legal workshops for we writer folk. So, so helpful, especially when it comes to those elusive electronic rights.
- Graphic Artists Guild: Offers this groovy book about managing the business end of your design enterprise.
- Nolo.com: Legalese for dummies, online and in book format.
Now that I’ve become more hip to contract matters and copyright law, I can see the merits of having a steady contract advocate. Thirty minutes here and sixty minutes there from some free or sliding-scale advisor just ain’t cutting it anymore. I guess that’s why the publishing gods invented agents.
November 22nd, 2006
Not sure how to beef up your freelance client list? Or how to find a freelance client in the first place? I can help. Starting Tuesday, November 28, I’ll be teaching a four-week online course through the Editorial Freelancers Association, called Cultivating Your Client List.
Here’s a bit about the course:
Most editorial freelancers will tell you they get their clients by word of mouth. But the savviest freelancers know that harvesting clients is the fastest route to success. In this class, we’ll discuss ways to develop a niche, target dream clients, weed out deadbeats, and shamelessly self-promote (even if you’re an introvert). Whether you’re a writer, editor, indexer, or designer, this course will show you how a little planning and chutzpah can go a long way toward growing your client list.
Now that I’m writing out the lessons I’ll be posting online (in a nifty Yahoo! group, where students can ask questions at their leisure!), I can tell you that I’ll be covering these points and then some:
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Exactly what makes a “good” client?
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And how do I go about finding them?
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How about weeding out the duds?
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What details should I stipulate in my contracts?
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How do I cold-call a company I want to freelance for?
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When should I follow up (and how can I do so without sounding like a stalker)?
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What should I do if a client changes the project parameters, or stiffs me, or goes out of business?
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How should I structure my freelancer or contractor resume?
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How else can I promote myself on the cheap?
Course logistics:
When: Tuesdays, November 28 through December 19 (4 sessions)
Where: Your computer
Fee: EFA Members $95 / Nonmembers $115
Register: Here
Questions? Contact me
November 21st, 2006
In case you thought writing books was all about cranking out copy all morning, then napping all afternoon, author Meg Rosoff sets you straight in this Guardian Unlimited blog post. The teaser:
Writers spend their days writing, don’t they? Don’t you believe it. When I’m not cleaning up after the dogs and my husband, I’m being a “writer” in public appearances.
And here’s an excerpt:
…when people ask, “What’s your daily routine?” and imagine a quiet room, a sheaf of paper, and a brand new Pilot pen, they are so, so, wrong.
The upshot? It’s one big balancing act, baby. But at least Meg doesn’t have to add earning a living outside creative writing to the mix, like most working writers.
November 21st, 2006
Went to a book talk last night, given by the divalicious Holly Morris, author of Adventure Divas: Searching the Globe for a New Kind of Heroine. A former desk jockey, this quintessential anti 9-to-5er has built her own globetrotting media empire.
Holly was kind enough to answer some of my questions this spring when I was researching my chapter on travel gigs. Her answers were witty and wise and beyond helpful. (For instance, who knew duct tape was the #1 item on every globetrotter’s packing list?)
She was of course even more inspiring to hear in person, probably because her biggest fear isn’t change, or the unknown — it’s not living life to the fullest. (I mean, if you came across a Saharan camel race, you’d enter it too, right?) But rather than list Holly’s impressive adventure travel C.V., I’ll point you toward the Adventure Divas website, where you can find all the blurbage and synopses you need.
A fair number of people in the audience last night seemed to want to run away with Holly on her next adventure abroad. Lucky for them, Adventure Divas now offers international tours for the public, modeled after the documentaries Holly and co. (including her mom Jeannie!) produced for their PBS series. First up, a travel writer’s paradise in New Zealand, then a pilgrimage to India, then a lush romp through Peru.
Remind me again why I’m still here in dreary, gray Seattle?
November 21st, 2006
Speaking of women breadwinners, check out this Miami Herald column by Cindy Krischer Goodman on how wives and husbands balance work and home life when he goes to work for her company. (Published 11/15/06)
An excerpt from the article:
More women appear to be hiring their spouses as employees. Some 33 percent of U.S. businesses are owned by women, a number that increased 14 percent in the last five years, according to the Center for Women’s Business Research. More women are taking over family businesses or building independent sales networks, too.
For some of these women, the obvious solution to staffing issues is at home: their husbands. With businesses now that support it, “There is no reason not to take advantage of good skill sets in the form of a husband,” says Nan Langowitz, director of the Center for Women’s Leadership at Babson College.
Handbag designer Kate Spade has done it. So has Airborne creator Victoria Knight-McDowell and Baby Einstein Co. founder Julie Aigner-Clark.
Hmmm, I wonder if I could get my boyfriend to work for me full time? (she says, deviously tapping her fingers together like Mr. Burns on The Simpsons)…
November 20th, 2006
The UK Sunday Times ran an endlessly amusing article yesterday, “Trophy Husbands,” about women breadwinners and their underemployed and/or “house manager” husbands. According to one UK survey, 39 percent of women in that country who work full time believe that they earn more than their partners — “believe” being the operative word here, because as one headhunter quoted in the article says, “You could probably get more people to talk to you on the record about how often they have sex.”
The article goes on to say that 1.8 million women who work full time in the UK earn more than their male partners. What’s more, the Office for National Statistics reports that 14 percent of UK men now work at home (i.e., change diapers all day), compared with just 8 percent of women. And evidently the times, they are a-changin’ so much that we now get to witness a surge in male gold diggers, underappreciated househusbands, and women leaving their husbands for their male nannies.
Of course, the crux of the article lies with this statement:
It’s clear that both men and women are struggling to deal with these altered dynamics.
Meaning, men are the new women. Or maybe women are the new men. Or now anyone can be overworked and underappreciated. Or act like a total sexist ass.
Growing pains aside, cultural shifts like this thrill me to no end, especially when they bring women closer to wielding the same power in the business world as their male counterparts and earning the same salaries, if not more. And especially when they help some underappreciative men see what goes into running a household and an army of rugrats from dawn till dusk.
And I’m sorry, guys, I don’t mean to smirk a little at some of the “My! How the tables have turned!” tales in the article, but I can’t help it. It’s kind of like the first time a boyfriend who was more domestic than me whined, “I cook for you, I clean for you, and what do I get in return? Zero appreciation!” I have to confess, I was so giddy over this role reversal (probably because I watched my dad come home from the office and ask my working mom “What’s for dinner?” all those years) that I threw a dishrag at my poor underappreciated hausfrau boyfriend, asked him to drape it from his waist like an apron, and begged him to repeat the statement.
Needless to say, I didn’t get any nookie that night.
November 20th, 2006
Here’s some news you can use: MSNBC contributing writer Vanessa Richardson published a helpful article last week on how women need to do a better job of planning for their retirement, starting in their twenties and thirties. Considering the high divorce rate, our longer life expectancy, and the fact that many of us don’t marry at all, sometimes even — gasp! – by choice, stories like this are much needed.
Some statistics from the article:
According to Allstate’s sixth annual “Retirement Reality Check” survey, which measures Americans’ attitudes toward and savings for retirement, almost half of women — 48 percent — have considered the financial implications of retiring alone, compared with 36 percent of men. Yet when asked who takes the lead in planning for retirement, 45 percent of women and 65 percent of men said the husband or male partner.
The majority of respondents said they are not set for retirement, although men feel a little more optimistic than women. Only 19 percent of women, compared to 23 percent of men, said they felt “very prepared.”
Blech. But not surprising.
On a positive note, the article quotes money maven Barbara Stanny up and down, who always has encouraging advice for women on managing their finances. I was happy to see the article also addressed whether to keep your own kitty on the side, even if you’ve shacked up, and how to present that bit of information to your significant other. Too bad it didn’t go into the ramifications of saving for retirement as a self-employed person, which can be even more daunting.
November 17th, 2006
Speaking of getting it all done, I read a couple of interesting posts this evening on working smarter: one on Boss Lady, about tackling your biggest projects first thing each morning (something I’ve been practicing more in theory than reality this month), and one on A List Apart, about kicking the first concept up a notch by challenging yourself to work just four days a week. Really.
I know getting more done by truncating your work week may sound counter-intuitive, but check out this excerpt from the article:
And then it hit me: there will always be more to do. Working more won’t change that. In fact, working more is actually counter-productive. I was starting work everyday at 5:30 AM and working till 10:00 PM, but I still wasn’t done with everything. If I was working those extreme hours and still couldn’t keep up with my to-dos, then clearly working more wasn’t the solution.
The problem wasn’t a time issue, it was a mental issue. I knew I had a whole week to finish my work, so I spread it out over five (or seven!) days. If I knew I only had four days to finish a whole week of work, it would’ve motivated me to get things done more efficiently.
So here’s the challenge: work fewer hours.
Boy am I ever guilty this month of “since I have all week to do it, I’ll put off starting till tomorrow” syndrome. Which means I spend more time dithering on email or bloggerbating, my scary new timesucking habit — you know, posting, commenting, incessantly checking Technorati… All this translates into working on my key projects in reactive mode (as opposed to proactive), everything a fire drill because nothing’s getting done in advance. Instead, I’m right up against the deadlines, which is a stressful place to be.
The four-day work week Ryan Carson outlines in this article sounds idyllic to me. In fact, I’m often jealous of my friends who’ve arranged their part-time work schedules just so, meaning they have Fridays off to write and play and sleep and run errands. And no one needs to sell me on quality of life trumping a slightly fatter savings account. I’m first in line for that shit.
Since I’m freelance, I can try out this arrangement, uh, just as soon as I get caught up on my current deadlines. It won’t be easy for this newfound workaholic to labor less (or to learn to hurry the hell up while working, as my boyfriend has kindly reminded me that I have trouble doing). But I intend to give it a shot. And with Thanksgiving next week and a visit to my mom scheduled for Thursday and Friday, I’ll have no choice but to put some of Carson’s tactics to the test.
If you never hear me speak of my attempts at taking Fridays off (or even Friday afternoons off) again, know that it didn’t work out. At all. And if you’ve successfully pared down your work week this way, either as an employee or a freelancer, I’d love to hear from you. How did you do it? Inquiring minds want to know.
November 17th, 2006
My little home-based workspace (i.e., spare bedroom) looks like the Office Depot delivery truck crashed through it. Manila folders, notepads, books, magazines, printouts, and sticky notes cover every possible surface area. To say I let things go while writing this book would be the understatement of the century. Not that I was much of a domestic diva to begin with. But I did like to keep my desk clean. Even if work was nuts, I could stare at the blank patch of pine and know that at least one little thing in the freelance universe was under control.
Today, buried under Mt. Everest on my desk I found a printed page containing these 10 Commandments. I imagine I wrote this list early in 2006 to try to coax myself into a regular book-writing schedule. After much nail-biting and hair-pulling, I did get on a regular writing schedule, but it was nowhere near as smooth as I envisioned when I sat down to draft this list a thousand months ago.
I know as far as fresh blog posts go this is cheating, but I thought you’d want to see anyway. Besides, if you know me even the slightest bit, some of the items will likely make you piss yourself from laughing so hard.
So herewith, I give you The 10 Commandments of Getting Off My Ass:
- Write first thing in the a.m. OK to eat and/or walk dog first. On weekdays, get on computer by 9:30 a.m.; weekends, as long as it’s before noon, you’re golden. Write for 1 hour without getting up, break for 10 minutes. Repeat 1 to 2 more times before moving on to lunch and afternoon tasks.
- Schedule interviews/research for afternoons. Do whenever possible. This mainly applies to weekdays. Crucial to get the writing time in during weekday mornings.
- Don’t watch TV. Just don’t. Really. I mean it. Or you’ll be sorry. Unless it’s after 5 p.m. and you’ve done your writing for the day. Even then, you should be researching or doing chores while the tube’s on. Otherwise, it had better be off or you had better be watching a movie you rented.
- Let household chores and errands wait their turn. Must not be done in lieu of writing time. However, it’s perfectly OK to do them on brief writing breaks (see commandment #1), at lunch, and before or after the workday. Do out-of-the-house errands at the end of the day. You’ll be dying to get out of the house anyway.
- Do client writing work in afternoons, evenings, or weekends. Under no circumstances should you write your newspaper/magazine articles or do your bread-and-butter corporate work during the a.m. book-writing time. Exceptions: You can only get a source on the phone for one of the aforementioned assignments during the a.m., in which case, your book-writing time had better extend into the afternoon to make up for it. (BTW, no penalty for writing book all freaking day if you so desire.)
- Don’t answer the phone. Let the voice mail get it. You’re paying Qwest for it, so you might as well make use of it. Return calls at the end of the day or — here’s a concept — the next day.
- Same with emails and IM. OK to read emails on writing breaks (see commandment #1, lunches, and before and after work). OK to send a quick response during these times if it has to do with immediate plans, important work stuff, interviews, and so on. Otherwise, wait till end of workday or evening to respond. As for IM, just don’t even log on.
- Same with e-newsletters and Google alerts. Just gloss over them till the day is done. Or else.
- Same with Jehovah’s witnesses. Don’t answer the door during the day. Even if the solicitors on your doorstep can see you through the windows. Just motion to them that your dog is vicious and likes to eat strangers who engage in religious dialogue with other strangers. By the same token, don’t make plans with people during the day. Meet them after work. The only one who gets to see you during the day is Buddy, and yes, he is entitled to a midday walk, provided you’ve finished your morning writing. (The a.m. pre-writing walk with Buddy will really help in this department.)
- Don’t eat instead of writing. Eat at breakfast, lunch, and dinner, yes. Snack when hungry, too. But know that this does not include scarfing a box of cookies in front of Judge Judy instead of starting the next chapter or section you’re supposed to be working on.
***Bonus commandment: If you fall off the wagon, don’t belabor it and bang your head against the wall as punishment. Just tell yourself you’ll do better the next day and make sure you bloody well do.
(Can anyone guess which commandments I followed and which I didn’t? To my credit, I did hit far more of these tenets than I missed. And before we close the, uh, book on this subject, would anyone care to share a page from their own creative routine?)
November 16th, 2006
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