Love the title of your blog, by the way!

This might have some info:

http://www.unmarriedamerica.org/News-About-Us/the_singles_lobby.htm

She can also root around on this site:

http://www.unmarried.org/index.html

And here’s one piece that might be helpful:
http://www.unmarried.org/health-care.html

There are two major orgs (which may have merged, but they both still have
websites) — Unmarried America and Alternatives to Marriage Project (http://www.unmarried.org).

Thank you.

And if you work at the large software co I’m thinking of, that’s pretty interesting: From what I know, they DO have some of the best flexibility/benefits packages around. And yet from what you say, they (and obviously much of corporate America) have so far to go.

Thanks so much for sharing your story. Really appreciate it! And I’m very sorry about your mom.

Regarding equal benefits: in 1999, when I first became an employee of a large software company in Redmond, I respectfully requested health insurance for my mother who lived with me and whom I supported. As a single woman, I thought it was a reasonable request, but I was told that health insurance was only for children and spouses of employees –not dependents–AND I should just zip my lip because it was never going to happen for parents, even ones you support. I never quite got over the inequity of the situation, particularly when the message was passed along to me by a manager who took three months’ paid maternity leave with each child.

When my mother had several strokes and came back home as a paraplegic, I held down a full-time position as well as being my mother’s caregiver. When I needed to take some time, I had to document it and force the issue through the Family and Medical Leave Act, which provides for a specified leave at no pay. The only reason they continued MY health insurance was because the act says they must. I was penalized at performance review time for taking the time, but, as my manager explained to me, I shouldn’t be allowed to use that as an excuse.

I am not saying that single women with no children are the only ones with work-related benefit issues, but sometimes it feels like we are unfairly targeted.

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/01/21/weekinreview/21zernike.html?ex=1170046800&en=4a2607ccb8bde7a7&ei=5059&partner=AOL

first off, they start the article with a stupid joke about cat ladies that’s about 20 years out of date. and it is unfortunate, as you say, that they included the quote about women waiting to have kids b/c they didn’t want their salaries to level off. would have been nice if they had someone like Stephanie Coontz or the authors of The Motherhood Manifesto (http://www.momsrising.org) weigh in about how we certainly need more flex work policies at full-time jobs — and without the pay cut — so that mothers aren’t discriminated against through profiling, the mommy track, and the maternal wage gap.

for those who haven’t read The Motherhood Manifesto, you may want to. pretty sobering social policy stuff. if you’re not fortunate enough to work in a high-profile job/industry, you often can look forward to lower wages than your childfree female coworkers, lower wages than you male coworkers WITH kids, and overall second-rate treatment in terms of compensation and hiring. nice! which is why it would have been cool if the Times had had Coontz or Joan Blades (from TMM) weigh in how policy/corporate practices need to change.

also, SMM, would love to hear what your experience has been in terms of earning power as a mom, if you care to share. i know many haven’t experienced the leveling off of income, which is heartening to hear.