Sure, I could have survived without it, but given the choice it was right for me and I think right for my spouse of 14 years. But it wasn’t right for the previous 30 years when I was married possibly for the right reasons to the wrong person.

It shouldn’t matter whether you are gay or heterosexual and it does not necessitate children. But when there are children, in today’s world, it is I think better for each child to have two committed adults in a close and loving triumvirate relationship. Children, work, and life are more than any single parent can handle as well as two of equal quality and with 2 it is a lot more fun. I heartily recommend marriage, equality of spouses, and monogamy. But even more I recommend finding the best course for you. Life is terribly short and there is much to learn, do, and contribute. The more time you can focus on these three activities and avoid energies spent on power, money and ego, I think the happier people will be.
Good luck everyone, and Michelle, thanks for the stimulus.

Now I’m living with, sleeping with, sharing finances with, and running a small business with my boyfriend. After a lot of deliberation I had a sort of lightbulb moment, when I realized that there was no reason I should delay any of this because I wasn’t ready to get married.

Now, I’m perfectly happy with the way things are. I want to marry him eventually, but that’s more because I get all stupid and girly over weddings. I love them, offbeatbride style.

So it’s nice to take the social/legal/moral obligation out of it. These days, women have options, and that’s fabulous.

now loving alone-ness, gaining new insights as i explore moving through life on my own terms, making big changes in life, really big: job, career, country of residence…in fact the only thing still recognizable is sexual orientation…hmm, isn’t that supposed to have some plasticity??

i liked marriage, the solidity, security, reliability and the freedom i had in mine…if there had been any control exerted from him, i’d have hightailed it outta there… married or not.. but we must remember always, marriage is a contract and should always be treated as such

great discussion

And gosh Mary, I feel you have a lot of rage toward the deliberately childless. Population decline? By what statistics?

Being married to your best friend is a marvelous thing, but many women settle for less than they deserve in a partner because they fear time is running out, or they’ll be less of a woman if they don’t produce offspring.

Women must love themselves before becoming bound to some guy for all eternity. And motherhood should never be attempted unless you’re with a man who’s up for doing late-night feedings and diaper changes.

But she’s right about one thing, definitely work in some important but totally off-topic issues in your next article, Michelle.

Ax