Anyway, what I want to clarify (hopefully without stirring the pot) is that just because a freelancer is married doesn’t mean she is supported–financially or otherwise. The first time I tried to freelance, I faced a lot of uncertainty and resistance from my husband. This time around, we have played all kind of financial games to keep this freelance endeavor “my” project, and feeling successful. But to an outsider I am getting a fat ride on his paycheck. Marriage is really f*%$ing complicated, and it’s hard for anyone to ever really know what’s going on inside.

Bottom line: Let’s be freelancers first! That’s why we visit this site in the first place, right?

This blog is fantastic.

Hear ya about family woes. I’ve begun teasing them gently about the “when are you going to get a real job?” years. They deny ever saying it, of course.

But I totally agree with you, Lauren: This isn’t any different than women being damned if they do stay home with the kids or damned if they go to work in an office. Someone will always judge. Maybe we all just need thicker skin? Or to totally shut those people out? Not sure what the answer is. But I think as long as people will be people, we will continue to get our panties in a twist over something insensitive or shallow that someone else says.

And I do have to say, as I’ve gotten deeper and deeper into this freelancing/writing life, those who don’t “get” my career/worklife and aren’t supportive of it are easing further and further out of my social strata. There simply isn’t the time. Hell, I once dumped a guy who said I had to choose between freelancing and him. EASY CHOICE! Still, every once in a while, it’s curious to see how “the other half” lives, so we do wind up occasionally in the company of those who don’t entirely get us… and sometimes snide comments arise. I consider it all grist for the writing mill.

I guess my point is that women can’t win. They stay home and they are soccer moms, berated for choosing family over carreer or they continue working and are chastised for not being “maternal.” I think that the most important thing is that women do what they want. Isn’t that what it was all about in the first place?

And lastly… if your married friends fall into the “smug marrieds” category, why are you friends with them? Friends are friends, married or otherwise. You should treat eachother as such and just be supportive of one another.

I thought in the 70′s, while marching for the “right” to say and live the life I chose as a woman, people would understand in the future. Alas, many of us are still preaching to the women who are trying to follow someone else’s plan. It took me a long time to break with some of the last conventions that held me back also.

I am so proud of you Michelle, and Naomi too, for marching to your own drummer as well as trying to educate those who are still trying to live up to “other’s” ideas of what life should be.

Follow your dreams women at any age. It is never to late.