Comments on: This just in: Working women still conniving C-words (and other charming headlines) http://www.anti9to5guide.com/2007/09/26/this-just-in-working-women-still-conniving-c-words-and-other-charming-headlines/ Practical Career Advice for Women Who Think Outside the Cube Wed, 12 Oct 2011 19:18:48 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: Michelle Goodman http://www.anti9to5guide.com/2007/09/26/this-just-in-working-women-still-conniving-c-words-and-other-charming-headlines/comment-page-1/#comment-21232 Michelle Goodman Thu, 27 Sep 2007 15:44:08 +0000 http://www.anti9to5guide.com/2007/09/26/this-just-in-working-women-still-conniving-c-words-and-other-charming-headlines/#comment-21232 thanks, meg, and all else who've commented on this thread. (feel free to continue.) fwiw, i'm not sure i find the women interviewed in the NY Times piece elitist so much as realistic. it's easier to be with like-minded people. if you're ambitious and your sweetie isn't, well... it can be hard, whether you're a man or woman. if you like swanky shit and s/he doesn't, it can be hard, again, no matter what your sex. i don't think this implies at all that women want to be taken care of, just that they want an equal partner who's in the same place as they are with regard to career/drive/spending/recreation. i'm more inclined to agree with sonia, but i will call this a lifestyle/tax bracket/life choices issue rather than a class issue. thanks, meg, and all else who’ve commented on this thread. (feel free to continue.)

fwiw, i’m not sure i find the women interviewed in the NY Times piece elitist so much as realistic. it’s easier to be with like-minded people. if you’re ambitious and your sweetie isn’t, well… it can be hard, whether you’re a man or woman. if you like swanky shit and s/he doesn’t, it can be hard, again, no matter what your sex. i don’t think this implies at all that women want to be taken care of, just that they want an equal partner who’s in the same place as they are with regard to career/drive/spending/recreation. i’m more inclined to agree with sonia, but i will call this a lifestyle/tax bracket/life choices issue rather than a class issue.

]]> By: Meg H. http://www.anti9to5guide.com/2007/09/26/this-just-in-working-women-still-conniving-c-words-and-other-charming-headlines/comment-page-1/#comment-21210 Meg H. Thu, 27 Sep 2007 05:59:53 +0000 http://www.anti9to5guide.com/2007/09/26/this-just-in-working-women-still-conniving-c-words-and-other-charming-headlines/#comment-21210 I found you from http://www.businesscreditcards.com/bootstrapper/the-woman-entrepreneurs-toolbox-100-networking-resources-guides-and-links This is a great blog! I found you from http://www.businesscreditcards.com/bootstrapper/the-woman-entrepreneurs-toolbox-100-networking-resources-guides-and-links

This is a great blog!

]]> By: Elizabeth http://www.anti9to5guide.com/2007/09/26/this-just-in-working-women-still-conniving-c-words-and-other-charming-headlines/comment-page-1/#comment-21208 Elizabeth Thu, 27 Sep 2007 04:40:18 +0000 http://www.anti9to5guide.com/2007/09/26/this-just-in-working-women-still-conniving-c-words-and-other-charming-headlines/#comment-21208 On a completely different note, my boyfriend, James, and I had a good chuckle over Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen apparently naming their sportswear line, Elizabeth and James, after us. On a completely different note, my boyfriend, James, and I had a good chuckle over Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen apparently naming their sportswear line, Elizabeth and James, after us.

]]> By: Sonia http://www.anti9to5guide.com/2007/09/26/this-just-in-working-women-still-conniving-c-words-and-other-charming-headlines/comment-page-1/#comment-21193 Sonia Wed, 26 Sep 2007 21:33:35 +0000 http://www.anti9to5guide.com/2007/09/26/this-just-in-working-women-still-conniving-c-words-and-other-charming-headlines/#comment-21193 At the same time, I do think that what you said, Michelle, about this being a BS style section trend story is probably right. Someone at the New York times knows someone whose boyfriend broke up with her because she made more money than he did, and suddenly this is a problem for all women everywhere. I know that we like to pretend that class doesn't exist in American, but several of their examples really seem to be more an issue of social class than of how much money individual men and women are making. These are issues that you're always going to encounter when you are in any kind of a relationship with someone who is in a different class; I think that because historically women have always been encouraged to date and marry up class-wise, everyone (men and women) is uncomfortable with the tables being turned, and that might be why these women come off as such elitists in this article. At the same time, I do think that what you said, Michelle, about this being a BS style section trend story is probably right. Someone at the New York times knows someone whose boyfriend broke up with her because she made more money than he did, and suddenly this is a problem for all women everywhere. I know that we like to pretend that class doesn’t exist in American, but several of their examples really seem to be more an issue of social class than of how much money individual men and women are making. These are issues that you’re always going to encounter when you are in any kind of a relationship with someone who is in a different class; I think that because historically women have always been encouraged to date and marry up class-wise, everyone (men and women) is uncomfortable with the tables being turned, and that might be why these women come off as such elitists in this article.

]]> By: Rita http://www.anti9to5guide.com/2007/09/26/this-just-in-working-women-still-conniving-c-words-and-other-charming-headlines/comment-page-1/#comment-21181 Rita Wed, 26 Sep 2007 17:10:16 +0000 http://www.anti9to5guide.com/2007/09/26/this-just-in-working-women-still-conniving-c-words-and-other-charming-headlines/#comment-21181 Wow. "Putting Money on the Table" made me really uncomfortable. I'm sure the women interviewed are nice, hardworking people, but because of the structure of the story they come off like elitists who ultimately want to find their very own sugar daddy. Although I liked how there was some discussion of their own money insecurities, not enough emphasis was placed on the problem men tend to have when the roles are reversed. Why should someone have to take the blame for a breakup for liking a bistro over a diner? The issues are deeper than money. That story only skimmed the surface and reinforced the idea that even top dollar making women want to be taken care of at the end of the day. Wow. “Putting Money on the Table” made me really uncomfortable. I’m sure the women interviewed are nice, hardworking people, but because of the structure of the story they come off like elitists who ultimately want to find their very own sugar daddy. Although I liked how there was some discussion of their own money insecurities, not enough emphasis was placed on the problem men tend to have when the roles are reversed. Why should someone have to take the blame for a breakup for liking a bistro over a diner? The issues are deeper than money. That story only skimmed the surface and reinforced the idea that even top dollar making women want to be taken care of at the end of the day.

]]> By: Michelle Goodman http://www.anti9to5guide.com/2007/09/26/this-just-in-working-women-still-conniving-c-words-and-other-charming-headlines/comment-page-1/#comment-21180 Michelle Goodman Wed, 26 Sep 2007 17:08:47 +0000 http://www.anti9to5guide.com/2007/09/26/this-just-in-working-women-still-conniving-c-words-and-other-charming-headlines/#comment-21180 sonia, thanks for your brilliant insights. i completely agree! sonia, thanks for your brilliant insights. i completely agree!

]]> By: Sonia http://www.anti9to5guide.com/2007/09/26/this-just-in-working-women-still-conniving-c-words-and-other-charming-headlines/comment-page-1/#comment-21178 Sonia Wed, 26 Sep 2007 16:35:34 +0000 http://www.anti9to5guide.com/2007/09/26/this-just-in-working-women-still-conniving-c-words-and-other-charming-headlines/#comment-21178 I read the New York Times article the other day and immediately called my mother to bitch about it. It reminds me of "research" that has been done since the 1980s showing that there aren't enough men to go around, that educated women have a better chance of being killed by terrorists than of getting married, etc. While I don't doubt that there are a lot of men who have not yet joined the twenty-first century and do feel threatened by successful women who can support themselves, what I love about articles like this is that the issue is always framed as a women's problem (Women: You are never going to get married, and it's your own fault) rather than as a men's problem (Men: Get over yourselves) or even a societal issue or one that indicates much deeper problems in our culture regarding the entrenchment of assumptions and beliefs regarding gender roles that are no longer (if they ever really were) compatible with society and the way we live our lives. I read the New York Times article the other day and immediately called my mother to bitch about it. It reminds me of “research” that has been done since the 1980s showing that there aren’t enough men to go around, that educated women have a better chance of being killed by terrorists than of getting married, etc. While I don’t doubt that there are a lot of men who have not yet joined the twenty-first century and do feel threatened by successful women who can support themselves, what I love about articles like this is that the issue is always framed as a women’s problem (Women: You are never going to get married, and it’s your own fault) rather than as a men’s problem (Men: Get over yourselves) or even a societal issue or one that indicates much deeper problems in our culture regarding the entrenchment of assumptions and beliefs regarding gender roles that are no longer (if they ever really were) compatible with society and the way we live our lives.

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