Posts filed under 'Overworked and underpaid'
According to a new book by psychiatrist and academic Anita Clayton, careerwomen make worse lovers. We’re too stressed and too wiped out from all that go-getting and overachieving to get it on. Plus, we’re unhappy with our sex lives but often in denial about it. And if we’re hetero, we probably don’t let on any of this to our partner. Instead, we dutifully perform our womanly duties and pull a Meg Ryan so he thinks we think he’s still got it in the sack.
Some excerpts from a recent Richmond Times-Dispatch article about Clayton’s book:
…she cites a study that showed 43 percent of women are unhappy with their sex lives, “which doesn’t seem bad unless you believe, as I do, that the other 57 percent were lying.”
And:
Women, especially working women, are more stressed and tired than ever before. Women’s overburdened lives alter the libido, she said. And there seems little motivation for women to change.
And:
“We have incorporated the belief that beautiful people have the best sex…. I think that pressure has ratcheted up.”
To Clayton’s credit, her book, called Satisfaction: Women, Sex, and the Quest for Intimacy, looks as though it’s genuinely aimed at helping women achieve the big O rather than stripping them of their careers. (I’ve only read the promo copy.)
I will be the first to admit that when I’m crazy-busy with work, right after sleep and exercise, sex is often the first thing to go. But if I’m happy in my relationship and my partner is too, I’m not sure why I should care, unless the agenda is to push me into making babies. And whatever happened to pre-dawn, morning, or weekend sex? All viable solutions to the so-called “not tonight” problem. Plus, I didn’t realize I was supposed to think that only the Paris Hiltons of the world have great sex, but I promise to get right on that.
I know that if you’re a parent, all the roll-in-the-hay rules can change. So, tell me, singles, parents, single parents, do you think career and coitus (and family) can coexist? Or like the good doctor implies, are we all just in deep, deep denial, letting our lube and vibrators languish and taking our work to bed instead?
February 14th, 2007
In case you didn’t get the memo, allow me to break the news to you: A new study by Harvard and McGill University researchers found that out of all “wealthy countries” in the world, the United States offers by far the crappiest family-friendly workplace policies. Meaning our maternity leave, paid sick days, and support for breast-feeding pales in comparison. This recent Associated Press article about the study should sufficiently sicken your stomach.
The biggie is of course the tidbit that “America is one of only five countries out of 173 in the survey that does not guarantee some form of paid maternity leave; the others are Lesotho, Liberia, Swaziland, and Papua New Guinea.” Nice.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Happy, well-treated workers = employee loyalty = less turnover = more money for CEOs (who on average make 262 times the salary of an average worker, according to the Economic Policy Institute). So wise up, head honchos, before you lose all your good workers.
For more juicy stats on how badly America sucks at accommodating its working parents and caregivers, check out Moms Rising, where you’re bound to be appalled into action.
February 11th, 2007
Actually American teens, boomers, and seniors are, according to today’s Christian Science Monitor, which ran an article called “Why volunteerism has reached historic high in US.”
It’s encouraging to see that 29 percent of Americans are lending a hand these days, no doubt driven by the realization that there’s more to life than staff meetings and stock options. Check out these excerpts:
…companies, including CVS, Best Buy, and The Home Depot, are giving employees time to volunteer and are rewarded with more productivity and higher retention rates…
Also:
“Americans want something more than a 9-to-5 job,” says Annmarie Emmet of Washington, who joined the Peace Corps at age 71. A retired government banker who never married, Ms. Emmet began volunteering at the Vietnam Veterans’ Memorial Wall 18 years ago. In 2002, she journeyed to the African nation of Lesotho, where she spent two years helping those affected by the AIDS crisis. Her reason for volunteering is simple: She enjoys helping people.
“So many people sit in front of a computer in an office, and I feel sorry for them,” Emmet says. “I think so many people go to real 9-to-5-type jobs and don’t find a lot of reward in it, and I think maybe being able to help someone or maybe being able to offer something that is not expected, that can make people feel good.”
Yeah, but this woman is retired. I do wish the article had focused a bit more on recent grads who’ve just entered the workforce and want to do something other than park their rear in the cube for the next several decades but also need to make a living. Because merging service and commerce can be done, by starting your own social enterprise, doing paid work overseas, taking a volunteer vacation, etc.
You don’t have to look far to find younger women blending service work with a paycheck in the US and abroad. Sites like The REAL Hot 100 and There’s More to Life Than Shoes are filled with ‘em. And I interviewed many women for the book who have made a full-time or side career out of helping others, on just about every continent, too. If you have the book, check out chapters 7 and 8, on work that helps people and/or feeds your wanderlust.
January 30th, 2007
While we’re still in new year territory, I thought it was the perfect opportunity to do a little myth busting. If you long to give your job or career a facelift but find yourself riddled with more excuses than the Bush administration, this list — modified from a 2006 Seattle Times article by yours truly — is for you.
Myth: I should do something practical that comes with a fancy title and fat paycheck.
Okay, and I should wear makeup and skirts and try to not swear so much because that’s what “ladies” do. Not. Whose life are you living — yours or your parents’?
Myth: By the time I pay my dues in a new career, I’ll be well over 30, 40, even 50, and too old to start at the bottom.
But you’ll be happy.
Myth: I can’t start a new career now. I’ve already invested so much in getting where I am.
See above. Otherwise, vow to never whine about how you hate your current career again — for the next 20, 30, 40, or however many years you have till retirement.
Myth: I need to succeed before I breed. Once I’m raising kids, it will be too hard to zoom up the ladder or change fields.
Harder, yes, but not impossible. I’ve interviewed plenty of moms who changed careers and/or went solo after having kids, a number of them without a spouse or money in the bank as a cushion. In fact, mompreneurship may be the way to go, given all the workplace bias against mothers out there. (I’m not a mom, so I welcome the moms reading this to weigh in with their two cents.)
Myth: I can’t afford to live on less money.
Life is about choices. Your choices: premium cable TV/new shoes/$15 lunches with coworkers, or a lower-paying but infinitely more rewarding job. (Hint: I don’t miss HBO, that extra pair of black boots that could be collecting dust in my closet, or those greasy, overpriced lunches.) Besides, a starting salary isn’t forever.
January 11th, 2007
When I was just starting out as a freelancer, I landed a supplemental $10/hour part-time gig (a small fortune in the early nineties) working as an admin assistant for this entrepreneur who put on business conferences. While my boss was very flexible, kind, and fair, his social graces left something to be desired. So much so that the other business people renting office space in the building regularly asked me how I could stand working for the guy.
Basically, my boss was a gastroenterological freak show, plagued with the worst case of flatulence and acid reflux ever to assault my senses. Think Ignatius in A Confederacy of Dunces and you’ll start to get the picture.
I get that people have digestive issues; I just don’t get why, in a work setting, my boss never once tried leave the room to expel a little gas, let alone offer up the occasional “excuse me,” or — hey, here’s a concept — permit me to open the door or window of our 200-square-foot office so as not to asphyxiate on the stench of his rotting bowels.
According to the other business owners in the building, I stuck it out longer than any of my boss’ previous assistants. But after a couple months, despite the sweet pay and the mostly pleasant demeanor of my intestinally challenged boss, nausea won out. Plus, it was so damned awkward to be working alongside someone tooting up a storm but offering up zero acknowledgement of the very pungent elephant in the room.
Still, on the 1 to 10 Scale of Dysfunction, I’d probably give this boss a 3 or 4, maaaaaaybe a 5. Because he was a good boss. He was just raised in a barn, which isn’t the worst bossly offense in the world. I’d venture to say that blogging about how you’re going to make your company profitable ASAP, come hell or high water, even though your entire staff knows that’s code for “layoffs imminent,” is a worse offense. Call me old school, but I’m a fan of face-to-face delivery when it comes to bad news, or news that bad news is potentially on the way.*
All this is one big fat segue into what I really wanted to talk about: This week’s No Shit Award, which goes to a recent study proclaiming that bad bosses are about as common as people with horrific manners.
Behold these morale-boosting stats:
- 39 percent of workers said their supervisor failed to keep promises
- 37 percent said their supervisor failed to give credit when due
- 31 percent said their supervisor gave them the “silent treatment” in the past year
- 27 percent said their supervisor made negative comments about them to other employees or managers
- 24 percent said their supervisor invaded their privacy
- 23 percent said their supervisor blamed others to cover up mistakes or to minimize embarrassment
Any of this sound familiar? Then you know what should be at the top of your list of new year’s resolutions. Oh, and if you care to de-lurk a moment and share your tale of Worst Boss Known to Humankind, I’m sure you will make a lot of people chuckle with appreciation or at least nod in recognition, this bossfree babe included.
*Update: The Jobster layoffs I was so cryptically referring to have arrived.
January 2nd, 2007
According to a December study, 75 percent of U.S. employees are looking for a new job. Their top reasons for bailing? Money and career advancement — and in that order. Not surprisingly, the majority of employees looking to trade up are lackeys (rather than managers).
This number may sound high, but it doesn’t shock me. In the past year I must have printed up a dozen of these disgruntled-employee polls, most of which stated that at least half of all workers were looking to jump ship at any given time.
Depending on what day you ask me, I might count myself among these ranks, and I’m a goddamned freelancer. It’s been said before, but that, my friends, is why they call it “work” as opposed to, say, “slacking,” “shagging,” or “knocking back a few cold ones on some impossibly gorgeous tropical island with [insert fantasy rockstar boyfriend here] at your side.”
How about you? Happy where you are? Miserable beyond belief? Like your coworkers but hate your boss? Love your gig but wish you could afford running water and electricity? Hate your gig but love the financial security it affords you?
Feel free to dish openly. I won’t tell your boss.
December 27th, 2006
So I read the “Smashing the Clock” cover story in BusinessWeek this a.m., you know, the one I was raving about the other day. And it was everything I hoped it would be.
I’ll break it down for you: This was Best Buy, the company featured in the article, before its worker-friendly policies:
Workers arriving after 8 a.m. on sub-zero mornings stashed their parkas in their cars to foil detection as late arrivals. Early escapees crept down back stairwells. Cube-side, the living was equally uneasy. One manager required his MBAs to sign out for lunch, including listing their restaurant locations and ETAs. Another insisted his team track its work — every 15 minutes. As at many companies, the last one to turn out the lights won.
And this is Best Buy now, having implemented a program they call ROWE, or results-only work environment (i.e., we don’t care whether you show your face, as long as you get your work done):
…workers pulling into the company’s amenity-packed headquarters at 2 p.m. aren’t considered late. Nor are those pulling out at 2 p.m. seen as leaving early. There are no schedules. No mandatory meetings. No impression-management hustles. Work is no longer a place where you go, but something you do. It’s O.K. to take conference calls while you hunt, collaborate from your lakeside cabin, or log on after dinner so you can spend the afternoon with your kid.
There’s an interesting conversation about flex time, face time, and meeting overload going on at Electrolicious today. Ariel tells the scary tale of an ex-employer that rewarded hours in the chair over results. To that, I will add my own (secondhand) anecdote:
One woman I interviewed for the book had a coworker suddenly die, not on the job, but still, devastating, right? She worked at one of these “work till you drop” organizations that rewards face-time hours rather than productivity. Evidently the deceased coworker had neglected to tell anyone at the company — not even his boss — that he was terminally ill. And evidently, since he worked remotely (at least there was that perk), no one knew.
Instead of enjoying his last days as a man of leisure, the poor guy toiled right until the day he died. When management caught wind of the tragic news, they sent out a companywide email praising their dearly departed team member for his company loyalty and impeccable work ethic (not even terminal illness could deter him!). Not exactly inspiring words for his coworkers, who besides dealing with the personal loss, found themselves scrambling to piece together their deceased coworker’s projects on deadline and wondering what kind of fucked up company they were working for.
And that, children, concludes today’s work/life balance story hour.
December 7th, 2006
I found this little nugget in Monday’s Seattle Times, in an article called “Gender Gap Narrows as Men’s Pay Erodes”:
…a noteworthy trend in the 21st-century economy: Women are closing in on men when it comes to wages, but not for the reasons anticipated — or hoped for — when gender pay equity became a rallying cry in the 1970s.
Data show that the pay gap has been narrowing not because women have made great strides, labor experts say, but because men’s wages are eroding.
Since I’m on deadline, I’ll let you draw your own conclusions about how languishing wages are a drag for all workers and probably not what my mom had in mind in the seventies when she joined NOW and marched for the ERA. But don’t let me put words in your mouth or anything…
December 6th, 2006
I just paid my P.O. box a visit and was thrilled to find BusinessWeek featuring this story on the cover:
Smashing the clock: No schedules. No mandatory meetings. Inside Best Buy’s radical reshaping of the workplace
I haven’t read the article yet, but I’m tickled just seeing a major business media outlet taking flex work and the meeting timesuck this seriously. Plus, check out these sidebars:
Rock on, Best Buy! And you go, BusinessWeek. I’m off to devour all three pieces. If I hate the articles, you’ll be the first to know tomorrow. Would love to hear what some of you think, too (nudge, nudge).
December 3rd, 2006
To milk last week’s holiday with ignoble origins a tad longer, following are a few recent news items that made me stand on my desk and cheer (that is, on top of the cancellation of the O.J. media blitz):
The Wall Street Journal released its “50 Women to Watch” list for 2006. Interesting Broadsheet notes here on philanthropist extraordinaire Melinda Gates making the top slot.
The Seattle Post-Intelligencer ran a kickass series this month called “The Glass Ceiling: Where a Rise to the Top Stops.” I especially liked the piece on the “Women at the Top” class offered in the University of Washington’s MBA program, which tackles such corporate-ladder issues as dealing with authority (is that a newspaper euphemism for dealing with harassment in the workplace?), balancing family with career, and facing the consequences of leaving the workforce temporarily to raise kids. (Why do we need yet another newspaper series like this? Because as Elana Centor points out on Blogher, the recent appointment of Kerrii Anderson to permanent CEO of Wendy’s brings the total number of women running Fortune 1000 companies to a whopping 2.1 percent. Uh, yay?)
And finally, USA Today has been running a six-week “Young and in Debt” series, which I’m sure most of us can relate to. Check out the live chat today — Monday, November 27 — at noon EST. (Thanks to Boston Gal’s Open Wallet for alerting me to this series.)
November 27th, 2006
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